Going to Hell in a Handbasket
Well I didn’t think I could feel much worse after experiencing cancer and metastatic cancer, concussions, knee injuries and a lifetime of asthma. Then along came a nasty gastro bug. Complicated by the chemo and the medications I take to manage the side effects.
It started as a typical nasty stomach flu Sunday morning. I thought I was making some progress later that afternoon so dared take some Gravol. Well that did it. Started heaving and did so every 10-15 min while exploding in other ways. By the evening I knew I couldn’t handle a night of this so I went to emerg to try to get it under control. A very empathic Dr Fern and a team of nurses plugged me into the IV and seemed to give me some relief. I went home at closing hoping to wake the next day weak but OK. Two hours later it started again and even the super-anti-nausea meds didn’t touch it. It was a tortuous night waiting for emerge to reopen. It was also an epic powder night so driving down to Squamish would have been treacherous. I watched the clock, I heaved, I exploded, I tried to breathe through it. I kept the poor animals and my husband awake all night. As soon as emerg opened we were out the door again. Kids took themselves to school. Thank goodness they’ve achieved that independence.
This time NOTHING worked. Not Zofran, not Gravol, not Maxeran, not Stemitil. I have never been so uncomfortable with nausea and vomiting in my life and l've had both plenty with pregnancy and chemo. Jeff sat by my side watching and waiting for me to get some relief. It must have been torture for him too. Partly because it was the biggest powder day of the season.
By mid-afternoon Dr Ron - who has always taken the best care of myself and my family - decided that I should go to Squamish Hospital overnight for further care, AKA TLC. I was able to hitch an ambulance ride - sometimes even with the lights flashing. Dr K and his team of nurses tried to get things under control in Squamish emergency. But no luck. I imagined it was very unpleasant for everyone with their various broken bones, heart symptoms and such to hear someone heave every few minutes. Plus I limped to the toilet every few minutes holding my gown across my backside and keeping my adult size diaper from falling to the ground. Not a pretty sight.
At one point, one of the most degrading ever, I didn’t make it and had to wait to get cleaned up. Yes emerge nurses must prioritize but I have to say leaving someone in their own mess is about as awful and undignified as it gets. How do those poor people do it in LTC facilities? I gave up waiting and made my way to the washroom to selvage myself. I couldn’t get my shoes on right so while clomping along and and trailing my IV pole the nurses definitely started jumping. They proceeded to get my bed cleaned up and helped me find some lovely maternity panties with giant pads. The kind you can’t walk straight in. I am in no way criticizing the care. I know they are always doing their best with not enough staff and emerg is a crazy place. I just found the experience of having no control the most degrading ever.
Between heaves I had nothing much to do but eavesdrop. I enjoyed hearing how the dr would interview and exam,run some diagnostic tests and put together a plan. I did my own diagnosing from my bed and was pretty spot on. I found family dynamics so very interesting. I learned about the politics of working in emerg from a physcian and nurse’s perspective. I heard plenty about skiing, crazy snowy highways and how difficult it was to work nights . I had advice for their home care seniors. I was discharge planning in my head. (Once an home care OT always a home care OT.)
By around 10 pm they admitted me to a private hospital room to recover in isolation. Though I missed following the cases around me it was a good choice. Not so noisy and bright but with enough nursing support. Every few hours we’d try another round of antinauseants with no success. I begged for some Ativan and this at least made it less intense. But I couldn’t sleep a wink - too uncomfortable with nausea and the constant heaving.
I finally drifted off a bit around 6 am only to be woken 30 minutes later for a nose and butt swab for super bugs. Seriously? It could have been an alien invasion for all I knew. I was fast asleep for the first time in days.
Well that was it for sleep because hospitals wake up around 7 with care routines, Dr visits, lab tests and so on: beeping; talking; footsteps; a neighbour wailing for help. I had a couple of visitors but it was a blur. It was at their own risk and they had to fully gown and mask as I was on isolation. But just a little contact from my world was enough to brighten my spirits. My chemo team came to visit and make recommendations to acute care about my treatment. I was feeling the love along with the nausea.
Later in the afternoon on the the third day, the symptoms finally abated a bit. The nausea was still constant but I could lie still and breathe through the desire to heave. My brain started wandering, I occasionally dozed off. I had my phone but no charger so couldn’t contact anyone about what was going on. How lost I felt without my technology! One nurse actually went home on her lunch to pick up a charger. She also found me some trashy magazines to leaf through. I found this amazing position, sitting on the side of the bed, feet on the legs of the bed side table, forehead on the cool table and a cool cloth behind my neck. I could pass the worst of the nausea this way and stop heaving.
Finally in the evening I felt hungry. I wanted nothing more than a few saltines and ice water. But no way - I had fasting blood work in the am. With half a battery I passed some some time texting and FB’ing but I had to save some battery for the call home. It’s amazing how much love and support came pouring in. I think that helped.
Eventually I just daydreamed myself to sleep and managed a few hours. You’d think that after 3 days of puking with no sleep I’d be exhausted but even with the Ativan I could barely rest. There is so much light and noise in a hospital, even at night. Luckily my neighbour was more sedated and didn’t keep me up with their “Pleeeeeeease nurse” all night.
By the time the Dr came by in the morning I was asking to go home. My potassium was apparently super low and I had to be careful or eating/drinking the wrong thing would send me back. But I wanted my own bed more than anything. A friend offered to take me home and I picked up a case of coconut water and saltines. Did you you know that coconut water has at least 8 times more potassium than electrolyte replacement drinks?
My first night home I slept 14 hours straight. Still felt awful and tired and had difficulty with stairs but I survived while Jeff went to work in the evenings. It’s now been a week since this awful bug started and I still don’t feel right. Still dealing with nausea and extreme fatigue. Not looking forward to chemo this week.
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